Failed Match... yep, that happened

November 2015
We got a call about a birth mother who selected us... and was due in 10 days. OMG. We drove to meet her the day before Thanksgiving. She was very sweet and shy, and due with a baby girl. She had a scheduled c-section for December 3rd. We drove home, stopped at Babies R Us to buy the last minute baby items we did not yet have. We proceeded to our family Thanksgiving parties and to share the news with our families! It was so exciting, and a whirlwind. We spent the weekend doing all that "lasts." We went out for a date. We went to a movie. We slept in. I went to work on Monday, on what was going to be my last day for 12 weeks. Prepping for that was no light work. It was crazy.

We planned to take birth mom to an appointment at the hospital on the 2nd (Tuesday), and then be there on the 3rd for baby's arrival. On the 2nd we woke up at 3:00 in the morning to make the drive. We pick her up, and took her to the hospital. I sat with her for hours during the appointment and the waiting time. I heard baby's heartbeat. We talked about names and how excited our family members had been over the weekend. I got to hear about her family, her interests, and sat by her side. It ended up that they decided they needed to do the c-section that day. Her mom arrived about 10 minutes before she was to go back for the c-section. I gave them some alone time, gave her a hug, and told her I would see her on the other side of the operation (with baby!). Travis and I went to wait in a room to meet our baby girl. About two minutes into waiting, we got a call from our social worker. Birth mom was having second thoughts about adoption. Our hearts fell. The social worker asked us to wait until she could get there and talk to the birth mom to confirm her decision one way or the other. We waited 2 hours. Two very hard hours. We were getting text messages and phone calls waiting for updates. We ignored them all and focused on one another, baby, and mom. We prayed that whatever was best for baby girl would be the outcome.

Social worker came and confirmed that birth mother decided to parent, the just born healthy baby girl. We were okay. Really, we were. It was difficult to hear, but also not our decision to make, and we knew that from the beginning. We wanted the best for baby girl and mom. I felt connected to the mom. Social worker had said that she wanted to see me if I felt okay with that (this is not traditional practice). I did. I wanted to say good bye, and tell her that I loved her. I did. I saw mom, through the tears in my eyes, and told her I loved her and that I knew baby girl would be a blessing to her family. I was thankful to have met her, and been a part of her life.

We left that day exhausted and sad. But also knowing that this is a big decision and has to be right for all parties. I am thankful that mother had the strength to find her best decision even though it must have been so hard to change her mind. I hope and pray for only the best for both of their lives. Even though it seems weird, I am thankful I was able to walk alongside that mother at a time in which she needed someone with her.

Travis and I went back to our hotel and walked to a crappy chain restaurant. We had margaritas. And we were in bed by 9:00.

We're Adopting!

• Who: A baby less than 3 months old, boy or girl, any race. Very likely will be a newborn from the hospital.
• What: Adoption, duh!
• Where: We're using a private agency, Adoption Associates, headquartered in Jenison, MI. They have four offices in Michigan. For that reason, chances are the baby will be from Michigan, but it could technically be anywhere in the U.S. 
• When: We are finishing up our home study (where they talk to you for a million hours to make sure you're not crazy and you show them where all of your money is and how dirty your house is) now. Then we will begin creating our profile (where we show you how awesome we are!), and will be finished with that around Christmas 2014. After that we will officially be "waiting!" That means that we will wait until a birth mother chooses Travis and I, as who she would like to raise her child. They indicate the average wait time is 12-18 months, but you never know since it's all based on someone selecting you. 
• Once a birth mother chooses you, you are considered "matched," and waiting for the child to be born (birth mothers typically come into the agency around 6-7 months pregnant, but it could be any time in their pregnancy or they could be selecting a family after giving birth).
• Typically, adoptive families are at the birth of the child at the hospital, but that really depends on the wishes of the birth mother.
• Typically, adoptive families will be able to take their child home from the hospital after 3 days. However, that depends on the stability of the birth mother's decision of adoption.
• Why: Truth be told, this is how we feel we were made to become parents. We feel blessed that we will be the parents of this little child and hopefully part of the birth mother's life too. We are excited to be able to foster a healthy view of adoption, adoptive families, and birth families and parents. We will be honored to be parents to our sweet little gem (whoever they will be!).

And so, yes! We're expecting a baby! Yay! Exciting! Thanks for what I know will be tons of support and congratulations! :)

Life Happenings

My life in pictures, from most recent to oldest:

 Cutest dog in the world

Soaking up the final summer sunsets

So happy their married!

Got to see this cutie twice in the last month! Love her!

M&J Rehearsal dinner

I grew this, from seeds! I didn't cut it in time and it flowered and I never ate it, but I grew it!

We have been married 8 wonderful, crazy, lovely, stressful, happy years. I love it.

I also grew these from seeds! And I did eat them!

We put up T's hammock from Costa Rica!

T built a large Jenga!

We went for dune rides.

Jess's bachelorette in Chicago.

Rooney post 12 mile run.

Shower times!

Grady Lee was born on July 9th. I'm an auntie again!

Chris & Jenna got married!

We went to several concerts at Fredick Meijer Gardens. They were awesome. And it only poured rain on us once!

Beach bum.

Heart.

John Legend. We were basically on stage with him.

We got kayaks!

We went to a Tiger's game (and Ikea).

Kendra got married!

Mary had her baby! Jackson! (Sadly I don't have any pictures of that adorable guy on my phone.)

Our first beach day of the summer.

Jules joined the Bakenhoven family!

Jules!

If we were having coffee today...

I love these two. Love.

It might be nice again soon!

That face.

Grandma's vase has come to live at my house and I am happy about that. So are the daffodils.

Great time with these ladies!

Miss this girl and our ridiculouslness.

Summer, come now.

Easter was fantabulous. First dinner on the deck.

Jess and I had so much fun at this CF competition. Too bad we're always in the same heat and can't cheer for each other. We're doing a team one in November!

Kettlebell nails for good luck!

Yay Florida!

Obligatory handstand pic

I love him. And water.

I really like them. Why do they live so far away? Thankful for the kind of friends where things never change.

Kayaking in the Florida mangroves.