November 2015
We got a call about a birth mother who selected us... and was due in 10 days. OMG. We drove to meet her the day before Thanksgiving. She was very sweet and shy, and due with a baby girl. She had a scheduled c-section for December 3rd. We drove home, stopped at Babies R Us to buy the last minute baby items we did not yet have. We proceeded to our family Thanksgiving parties and to share the news with our families! It was so exciting, and a whirlwind. We spent the weekend doing all that "lasts." We went out for a date. We went to a movie. We slept in. I went to work on Monday, on what was going to be my last day for 12 weeks. Prepping for that was no light work. It was crazy.
We planned to take birth mom to an appointment at the hospital on the 2nd (Tuesday), and then be there on the 3rd for baby's arrival. On the 2nd we woke up at 3:00 in the morning to make the drive. We pick her up, and took her to the hospital. I sat with her for hours during the appointment and the waiting time. I heard baby's heartbeat. We talked about names and how excited our family members had been over the weekend. I got to hear about her family, her interests, and sat by her side. It ended up that they decided they needed to do the c-section that day. Her mom arrived about 10 minutes before she was to go back for the c-section. I gave them some alone time, gave her a hug, and told her I would see her on the other side of the operation (with baby!). Travis and I went to wait in a room to meet our baby girl. About two minutes into waiting, we got a call from our social worker. Birth mom was having second thoughts about adoption. Our hearts fell. The social worker asked us to wait until she could get there and talk to the birth mom to confirm her decision one way or the other. We waited 2 hours. Two very hard hours. We were getting text messages and phone calls waiting for updates. We ignored them all and focused on one another, baby, and mom. We prayed that whatever was best for baby girl would be the outcome.
Social worker came and confirmed that birth mother decided to parent, the just born healthy baby girl. We were okay. Really, we were. It was difficult to hear, but also not our decision to make, and we knew that from the beginning. We wanted the best for baby girl and mom. I felt connected to the mom. Social worker had said that she wanted to see me if I felt okay with that (this is not traditional practice). I did. I wanted to say good bye, and tell her that I loved her. I did. I saw mom, through the tears in my eyes, and told her I loved her and that I knew baby girl would be a blessing to her family. I was thankful to have met her, and been a part of her life.
We left that day exhausted and sad. But also knowing that this is a big decision and has to be right for all parties. I am thankful that mother had the strength to find her best decision even though it must have been so hard to change her mind. I hope and pray for only the best for both of their lives. Even though it seems weird, I am thankful I was able to walk alongside that mother at a time in which she needed someone with her.
Travis and I went back to our hotel and walked to a crappy chain restaurant. We had margaritas. And we were in bed by 9:00.
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